Volume I/PART I

A MOMENT OF LIFE'S REFLECTION

By African Queen


Well here's another chapter of my life's book closing, as a new one began...and as I look back on my dreams, hopes and aspirations, some having been fulfilled while others sit on a dusty shelve waiting to be re-discovered. Finally, I am beginning to feel a glimpse of satisfaction within; A sense of realness within my soul, a growth of maturity that only conquering fear can achieve.

I'm molding and shaping myself into in a world that seemed so strange long before, always feeling out of place, not even sure if I belong. For the first time in my life, I feel a positive surge of energy surging into my spirit. A flow of karma I can relate to, that eases the pain within my soul. Yes, fear still taunts me, in the deepest hallway of my mind. However, this time, I won't allow it rule me, control me or dictate my journey, which has been ordained from the beginning of time.

For through the living spirit I have conquered those things that has stumbled my dreams.

My life has guided me in many directions. No regrets. Time wasted on meaningless adventures, seeking adrenaline, pursuing the high. Chasing relationships, believing I was missing my whole, not even recognizing that He was already in my soul. Frugal attempts to quicken the process.

While perpetrating a person that does not exist.

I must fit in.

I remember being told.

Meeting individuals...some good...a precious lesson learned from each...while others who have crossed my path have spread hatred, vengeance and contempt... afflicting others with their sorrows. Most still entrapped with the mentality of slavery from long ago.

Stagnant, oppressed, and enslaved to ignorance.

It keeps them from seeing His great will for their lives.

PART II
Falling in love, oh, how beautiful I thought it would be, until faced with the reality fear of commitment from others. Not willing to commit, compromise, or show their deepest emotions. Have you been hurt that bad that you cannot see the love within my heart for thy? Or, can you not risk the feelings of experiencing true love? I ask myself, do we know true love, As our Father in Heaven loves us.

Too much time to invest? Unsure of what to expect? Judging of one's style, looks, and race.

To thin, to fat, to light, to dark. Not the right height, not the right physique, when I only want someone to recognize that I am beautiful as ME. Wow, what a valuable lesson I learned on that trip. What a selfish world we live in. The "I" society. While on that trip, I was able to build a few genuine friendships, especially during the stratosphere of my heartache and pain. Never again could I trust my heart to another, I often vowed. I never want to experience such pain, anguish, or emotional unbalance again.

Always remain in control I was told.

I know, the journey I am ready to embark on will be faced with numerous challenges. Nevertheless, it is something about this trip that's dramatically different from the rest. Maybe I'm finally ready, no more demands, no more drama or expectations on others. For the reality of life has leaded me out of the darkness of my shell. And as each page is written in my book, My true me, My true destiny, My true purpose shall be revealed.

For today, I am more receptive to the Power that leads my every step

AFRICAN QUEEN