and you wonder why

women are so emotional disturbed..When women fall in love, its with every fiber of our being. We love first with our hearts, then our emotions, then through the spirit of sexual intercourse (sex). It is these three things that open our inner selves to allow the love to flow freely. It doesn't matter, who that man is, what he has done, what he has or has not....WE LOVE HIM... I know personally, after making love to the person I love, I could actually feel the connection of our lovemaking, long after the physical part is completed. This love is eternal, spiritual, forever....

Now, on the flip side of this, I believe some men lack this awareness, which is why they can be with so many different women. Its puzzling for one man to be loved by so many different women, yet there relationship never seems to last. IS IT HER OR IS IT HIM...I ask myself...now here's the answer to that question.... For a woman to be hurt by a man, it takes time. Yes, we see the signals, ignore them at first..then we began to discuss them in small details...waiting for the reaction. See, its the first reaction that we learn...them say, "your too confrontational" now you know a cheat dont want to be confronted. Second, they say, "me dont want to be in a relationship" yet, they have no problem calling when they want sex...

It takes time for a woman to process her feelings, because of the love she has for that individual. I have to ask myself what's different for me? For several years, I've placed other men, (good men) on the back burner, hoping this individual would one day realize how I feel about him. Then, I realize, he already know, but choose to continue his search...ok cool..cause sometimes a person have to experience that the grass is not always greener on the other side. And at the end of there journey, It is I who who've been there...to support you, to talk too, to love you, But I am I any different than the others? Cause a real women will feel the same way...RIGHT!

Then, along with this, I look at what part I played in allowing this to happen...and of course, I played a part...but see there goes that thing call love, because love will allow you to put up with shit, you know aint right. Love will allow you to look pass people flaws and see the goodness in them. Love will convince you, if you wait, hold on, be strong that the love will be reciprocated. Love tells you instead of late night booty calls, it be calls of him saying, "baby, I'm on my way, home, let's go out to dinner" Its love that tells you, he'll love you for who you are, not who he wants you be...I really honor couples who can genuinely say they are IN LOVE,,,that's something to cherish, and protect...some how I believe it is only for the chosen few..

Love,

LOVE


OH, P.S...Love, I'm letting go..cause if this is love, then I'll never be ready for love

Wait.....

A Friend and I was talking, and he quoted this verse to me...Now, let me tell you, I grew up in the Church. Read the Bible and at times my faith is tremendous. But when he quoted this scripture, which I've been thinking about since. It made me realize, where my strength, endurance, zealous and determination has come from. For you see, In my 45 years of life, I've experienced some serious things in my life, abandonment, abuse, addiction, alcoholism (and that's just in the "A" section), where most people would not have dealt with them causing mental damaged. As a counselor I've heard some stories that shed light on my own story...for my past has become my source of life, my reason for living, see, I realize my purpose...and that is to help others over come there obstacles....here's the quote....

"BUT THEY THAT WAIT UPON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH; THEY SHALL MOUNT UP WITH WINGS AS EAGLES; THEY SHALL RUN, AND NOT BE WEARY; AND THEY SHALL WALK, AND NOT FAINT."

Now the verse above that is even more powerful, it says,

"YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU HAVEN'T HEARD, THAT THE EVERLASTING GOD, THE LORD, THE CREATOR OF THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, FAINT NOT NEITHER IS HE WEARY? THERE IS No SEARCHING OF HIS UNDERSTANDING,

HE GIVE POWER TO THE FAINT AND THEM THAT HAVE NO MIGHT HE INCREASE STRENGTH,
EVEN THE YOUTHS SHALL FAINT AND BE WEARY, AND THE YOUNG MEN SHALL UTTERLY FALL:

Now looking at this, makes me realize how I have over come so many obstacles in my life, how I've survived abuse, malice and many other things that need not to be mention...I think we all could look back on our lives and wonder how we've made it through situations and circumstances...I'M NOT PITCHING A RELIGION, just a spiritual aware....its only by our most High strength and wisdom....we've made it this far

PEACE, FAITH, LOVE & HOPE

It is PEACE, FAITH, LOVE & HOPE, that is the substance and foundation of life..It is my prayer that we develop these characteristics as individuals to gain and sustain unity as a people, it doesn't matter the color of your skin, your sexual preference, your religion, or where your from and most importantly how much $$ you have..what does matter is that we put away our selfish strife..and strive for better amongst ALL

A MOMENT OF LIFE'S REFLECTION (repost)

A MOMENT OF LIFE'S REFLECTION

By African Queen

Well here's another chapter of my life's book closing, as a new one began...and as I look back on my dreams, hopes and aspirations, some having been fulfilled while others sit on a dusty shelve waiting to be re-discovered.

Finally, I am beginning to feel a glimpse of satisfaction within myself; A sense of realness within my soul, a growth of maturity that only conquering fear can achieve.

I'm molding and shaping myself into in a world that seemed so strange long before, always feeling out of place, not even sure if I belong. For the first time in my life, I feel a positive surge of energy vaulting into my spirit. A flow of karma I can relate to that eases the pain within my soul.

Yes, fear still taunts me, in the deepest hallway of my mind. However, this time, I won't allow it rule me, control me or dictate my journey which has been ordained. For through the living spirit I have conquered those things that has stumbled my dreams.

My life has guided me in many directions. Some regrets. Time wasted on meaningless adventures, seeking adrenaline, pursuing the high. Chasing relationships, believing I was missing my whole, not even realizing that He was already in my soul. Frugal attempts to quicken the process...while perpetrating a person that does not exist, to appease a society.....I must fit in, I remember being told

Meeting individuals...some good..some bad....some lost A distinct lesson learned from each...while others who has crossed my path have breed hatred, revenge and contempt...while afflicting others with their mental sorrows. Most, still entrapped with the mentality of slavery of long ago, oppressed, and enslaved to ignorance,which keeps them from seeing His will for their lives

Falling in love, oh, how beautiful I thought it would be, until faced with the reality the fear of commitment from others, not willing to commit, compromise, or show their deepest emotions. Have you been hurt that bad that u cannot see the love within my heart for thy? Or, can you not risk the feelings of experiencing true love?

I ask myself, do we know true love,

As our Father in Heaven loves us.

Too much, time to invest? Unsure of what to expect? Judging of one's style, looks, and race.

To thin, to fat, to light, to dark. Not the right height, not the right physique, when I only want someone to recognize that I am beautiful as ME. Wow, what a valuable lesson I learned on that trip. What a selfish world we live in, the "I" society.

While on that trip, I was able to build a few genuine friendships, especially during the stratosphere of my heartache, and pain. Never again would I trust my heart to another, I often vowed. I never want to experience such pain, anguish, or emotional unbalance again.

Always remain in control I was told.

I know the journey I'm getting ready to embark on will be faced with numerous challenges. Nevertheless, it's something about this trip that's dramatically different from the others. Maybe I'm finally ready, no more demands, drama or expectations. For the reality of life has led me out of the darkness of my shell. And as each page is written in my book, My true me, My true destiny, My true purpose shall be revealed.

For today, I am more receptive to the Power that leads my every step, yes today I'm ready to face the real me, I proclaim the inner me, the strength the lies within me, the beauty that showers me, the knowledge that has been granted to me, the wisdom that has been bestowed me, the courage to deliver the seed that has been impregnaned in me......LIFE

Was I Meant to be Alone

By African Queen

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.


Where is my protector?

The one who promised me affection.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

A woman as strong as I

Need the strength of her mate.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

Do I not deserve love?

For which my soul desire and long for.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

Are my emotions so deep that you can't see

That our purpose of our destiny is we.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

My heart tells me that you're searching for me.

So until that time I will continue to prepare for thy

No, I was not meant to be alone

In a world that's ice cold

Lost Without You
Category: Writing and Poetry



Lost without you

Memories I found reminiscing,
In the moonlight silvery glow,
Bygone dreams I remember,
On the paths where lovers go.

Dreams never need to be lost,
I could share mine with you,
Step 'neath the stars tonight,
As the moon comes into view.

As I remember dreams shared,
Whilst harmonizing the tune,
I play our love song again, "Lost without you"
'Neath the light of a silver moon.

Dreams within lovers embrace,
In moonlight upon the shore,
I capture what matters most,
In continuous love forevermore

To My Special Friend!

African Queen

When you look into my eyes
I wonder what you see.
Do you see the love I have for you
that I hold deep within inside of me?

When you hear my voice,
as I gently whisper in your ear,
do you know it's my heart that speaks,
and not just words that you hear?

When I softly say, "I LOVE YOU"

AFRICAN QUEEN

Love So Deep

Love so deep you will never understand

To bad things didn't go as they were planned

I lay at night and think of my life

Wishing I had the chance to make you my husband

You came in and took control

Not only did I fall in love with you, I fell in love with your soul

Loving me daily without any questions

I told you before, boy you're truly a blessin'

You understood all of my ways

You brought joy to all of my days

When I think of what a Black Man should be

Please believe me....you're the first face my mind can see

Unbelievable, the love that you gave

Joined as one riding our love like a wave

Even if you were paralyzed from your feet to your head

I'd carry you every day from the car to your bed

Knew it was special right from the start

Love so deep I'd write my vows to your heart........Black Man!

My Life

I love life and all that it has to offer. The good, bad and the indifference. I have found that life is a continuous learning cycle of one's self and others. To me, living life represents being unconditional, which means accepting things in life while learning from the experiences. I have learned to accept and respect people for who they are and explore their good qualities, opposed to judging their frailties. I have come to realize I first have to take a look at myself and make internal adjustments before making external ones. I am a strong, sensitive, compassionate black woman. I am ambitious, educated and spontaneous. I consider myself to be a well-rounded individual who has learned to appreciate life while keeping things in perspective. I'm spiritually grounded. I also believe in the power that the relationship between the black man and black woman manifest, which is love, strength, power, unity,and knowledge. Everything else will fall into place when we are spiritually and mentally in tune with each other, especially when we can respect each others opinions

Was I meant to be alone





In a world that's ice cold.

Where is my protector?

The one who promised me affection.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

A woman as strong as I

Need the strength of her mate.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

Do I not deserve love?

For which my soul desire and long for.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

Are my emotions so deep that you can't see

That our purpose of our destiny is we.

Was I meant to be alone?

In a world that's ice cold.

My heart tells me that you're searching for me.

So until that time I will continue to prepare for thy

No, I was not meant to be alone

In a world that's ice cold


by African Queen

Black Queen, that I Am

Black Queen

I was born with not a silver spoon,

Black Queen but a golden spear in my hand.

Black Queen I was taught to be strong,

and not to fear the white man.

Stolen from my homeland

where streets were paved with gold,

and bought to this country

where I was stripped of my soul.

Brought here on a slave ship

shackled and bound in chains.

Robbed of my heritage, and gave my masters name.

I have survived the long and restless

journey of the slave ship.

I have endured the painful lashes of the masters whip.

I had babies in the cotton fields,

and was back in the big house in time,

to cook my master's meals.

I prayed, while master had his way

with me in the slave quarters.

I cried as I watched him sell my sons and daughters.

"You wonder who I am, that I can endure, such things?"

I AM THE MOTHER OF A WARRIOR AND DAUGHTER OF A GREAT KING.........

I AM THE BLACK QUEEN OF AFRICA!

Volume I/PART I

A MOMENT OF LIFE'S REFLECTION

By African Queen


Well here's another chapter of my life's book closing, as a new one began...and as I look back on my dreams, hopes and aspirations, some having been fulfilled while others sit on a dusty shelve waiting to be re-discovered. Finally, I am beginning to feel a glimpse of satisfaction within; A sense of realness within my soul, a growth of maturity that only conquering fear can achieve.

I'm molding and shaping myself into in a world that seemed so strange long before, always feeling out of place, not even sure if I belong. For the first time in my life, I feel a positive surge of energy surging into my spirit. A flow of karma I can relate to, that eases the pain within my soul. Yes, fear still taunts me, in the deepest hallway of my mind. However, this time, I won't allow it rule me, control me or dictate my journey, which has been ordained from the beginning of time.

For through the living spirit I have conquered those things that has stumbled my dreams.

My life has guided me in many directions. No regrets. Time wasted on meaningless adventures, seeking adrenaline, pursuing the high. Chasing relationships, believing I was missing my whole, not even recognizing that He was already in my soul. Frugal attempts to quicken the process.

While perpetrating a person that does not exist.

I must fit in.

I remember being told.

Meeting individuals...some good...a precious lesson learned from each...while others who have crossed my path have spread hatred, vengeance and contempt... afflicting others with their sorrows. Most still entrapped with the mentality of slavery from long ago.

Stagnant, oppressed, and enslaved to ignorance.

It keeps them from seeing His great will for their lives.

PART II
Falling in love, oh, how beautiful I thought it would be, until faced with the reality fear of commitment from others. Not willing to commit, compromise, or show their deepest emotions. Have you been hurt that bad that you cannot see the love within my heart for thy? Or, can you not risk the feelings of experiencing true love? I ask myself, do we know true love, As our Father in Heaven loves us.

Too much time to invest? Unsure of what to expect? Judging of one's style, looks, and race.

To thin, to fat, to light, to dark. Not the right height, not the right physique, when I only want someone to recognize that I am beautiful as ME. Wow, what a valuable lesson I learned on that trip. What a selfish world we live in. The "I" society. While on that trip, I was able to build a few genuine friendships, especially during the stratosphere of my heartache and pain. Never again could I trust my heart to another, I often vowed. I never want to experience such pain, anguish, or emotional unbalance again.

Always remain in control I was told.

I know, the journey I am ready to embark on will be faced with numerous challenges. Nevertheless, it is something about this trip that's dramatically different from the rest. Maybe I'm finally ready, no more demands, no more drama or expectations on others. For the reality of life has leaded me out of the darkness of my shell. And as each page is written in my book, My true me, My true destiny, My true purpose shall be revealed.

For today, I am more receptive to the Power that leads my every step

AFRICAN QUEEN